Some call September the “New Year”, “refreshing”, the “restart.” Parts of it feel that way to me too, but if l had an overall describing word for it it’d be suffocating. A mama-load and race I feel like I’m losing at and exhausted from already. Routines are LOVELY, but it’s also when activity schedules kick in on top of tracking 4 separate kids’ school calendars, a spitfire of forms flying at us, the to-do list like a conveyor belt on speed and SO MUCH EXTRA EVERYTHING. Managing family admin another part-time job. Nevermind all the big emotions the BTS whirl stirs up for the kiddos and needing to be all-in on the parenting front.
I’m not someone who likes so much “busy-ness” or the hyper-functioning and pace this time of year demands. But with some quasi-organizing and a whole lotta wingin’ it we get through. I’ve been asked several times why I didn’t do a blog about our BTS routines. Also asked to give my BTS expertise because being a bit if a veteran at it now I must be acing it…Truth is because getting you to buy into some facade of having it all together made my stomach turn. Those who follow our blog know that sharing our “Top 10 Ways..” to win at parenting has never been my blog jam. And this depiction of perfecting motherhood is something I’ve tried to unravel from my mamahood existence. A few years ago I decided I’m going to stop trying to win at every facet of the game, because neglecting my well-being was too big a price to pay. So, there’s no acing back to school around here….by choice. Do we have systems in place? Absolutely and they definitely help mitigate the mayhem. But…despite systems and some sorta organizing to tackle the dysfunction, there are so many mornings that are like a hectic, maddening gong show. So if you think you’re the only one raising your voice like a drill sergeant and whose kids don’t line up at the door like the von Trapp family on school mornings, you’re not alone! Our reality is juggling and struggling just like most other families.
Despite 2 electronically synced calendars + a colour coded whiteboard version, I drop balls ALL THE TIME. There’s only so much the mama RAM can store. My kids know I do a lot in the fly, remember things at the final hour, and no longer make being responsible for everyone’s “stuff” my solo responsibility – its a family affair.
I’m probably going to get a big F in the school volunteer department, ignore the invite to PTA and may send store-bought goods for the bake sale instead of the from scratch variety, but I’m also probably going to be pretty fantastic at showing my babes how to be resourceful, being intentional with their time, teaching them about tolerance, self-respect, and compassion. I know what I do well, give myself grace where I can do better or simply just don’t wanna. Because I make a point to no longer put myself last in the schedule too and that means creating space by not doing the “shoulds”, not doing things out of obligation, and not being so awesome at playing momager or school mom extraordinaire for everyone else. I’ve put my hand up to all that extra parental pressure – and let’s face it, it largely still falls on the shoulders of mom. They know I’m much more pleasant to be around this way too. And showing them how to cut ourselves slack, fit in some self-care and learn how to set realistic expectations for ourselves may (fingers crossed) have a bigger long-term pay off anyway.
So ya.. there’s no acing back to school around here, but I no longer think I’m a failure either because of it, and neither should you. In BTS slacker (by choice) solidarity… I should probably go make a bento box lunch or something (in all honesty I could use a nap!) but first leave you with the only BTs advice that rings true over here – as you manage the schedules of all in your brood, make sure you mark in some time for you too …in permanent marker, not pencil 😉 I`m walking my own talk and will be on a women’s wellness retreat next week (guilt-free!). As the parenting tasks ramp up on speed this time of year, I promise taking care of you doesn’t take away from them. In fact, it’s the opposite and helps you pour back into your people a better version of YOU. Deep breaths, mamas…we’ve got this!
Tell me how you manage the mamaload this hectic time of year…